Thanks for all the words of encouragement. I really appreciate it.

I've been taking my meds since April or May, so it's not that I haven't given them a chance. And I know not taking them wasn't a very good idea. But I think it's how I assert my authority over medications, if that makes any sense. Plus, I was running out, and about to see my pdoc, so I kind of felt like 'Well, if I'm going to get new meds, I don't really want to get a month's refill..." I also sometimes just feel the need to sort of "check" myself.. to compare myself on and off meds every once in awhile... I'm a little paranoid of meds ever since I spent five years, uninterrupted on them, and couldn't tell which way was up...

Anyways, today, I feel a little better. I talked to my mom in the morning, and took a shower tonight. Not much, but hopefully it's a start. My mood is a little better too... Tomorrow I have pdoc at 9 in the morning and my mom is going to call me in the morning to help me wake up. Then I have a skype date with a friend in the afternoon. And if I have any energy left, hopefully I'll go to a ballet class in the evening. And while I"m at pdoc, I'll schedule an appointment with T for when she gets back.

I'm hoping when my new school semester starts, and I have some place to be twice a week, I'll feel a little better and get out of the house more. I think part of my problem right now is I don't have anything I HAVE to be doing.

What do you guys think.. Should I look into a support group until my T gets back? Or do you think that might be trying to take on too much at once? Starting two classes and a support group?

Thanks again for the kind words. I really needed them.