When I get so depressed and start getting suicidal, I now I should go to hospital. At his stage my lie has no value, and I've probably thought of a we options to follow through with the ideation.
The other time it was "too late" and I landed in hospital after and OD.
Ad then I was hospitalized because I'd messed around with my meds combo and was taking them as I found fit, and needed to stop benzo's which would result in withdrawals and I needed to be inpatient for them to help me.