I don't really want to justify my actions, but it's what I do when I feel attacked. I'd rather my T lead me to a place where I could be vulnerable which is what I want to do...

I think he was trying to "wake me up" or something and maybe he didn't know I was already aware of my patterns. I've only been seeing him for about 3 months so far. Up until now he's been really supportive and constructive so I don't know what happened. What I'd really like is some alternative coping mechanisms or something. It just made me feel worse because I was already feeling really stuck and misunderstood. I guess I'll talk about it with him next time.

Thanks everyone.