I committed myself when I realized I was cycling every 5 min (I kid you not - suicidal to happiest I've ever been in my life and back in 5 min). I realized I was a threat to myself while I was in the shower. Ironically my best friend, her son, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend were all in the house.. no one but me realized I was in CRISIS. I asked my bf to call 911. He said no, so I got out of the shower and called for help then finished my shower and waited for help. I had no idea they'd send the equivalent of a SWAT team. It was some horrible (no longer a cop - too many claims against him from that night backed by other cops statements and video from in the cop car) on a power trip. He lost his job and his tenure. But the hospitalization was exactly what I needed.

When I OD'd on high blood pressure medication my dad caught me and took me to the ER. They pumped my stomach and I threw up on my socks despite the 5 paramedics holding me down. I was in the hospital for 3 days. By the time they came for my psych evaluation I was manic (they only asked if I was depressed and suicidal - hell no! I wanted out of there!). I probably should have gone to the psych hospital then (this was after my initial stay in the psych hospital).

I probably should have gone to the psych hospital after I OD'd on muscle relaxers but poison control told my bf what to do and when to take me to the ER. Turned out I just took enough to give me a 3 day hangover (this was pre-psych-hospital).

As for plans: my T believes if you have a suicide plan you're in danger. I disagree. I've thought it through in great detail. I'm one of those people who needs to have a plan and a contingency plan and a worst case scenario plan. For instance: after having my stomach pumped once, I probably won't try to OD again. But, knowing what suicide options appeal to me helps me make sure that option is not readily available (see my post on safety plans http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=262247). I think having thought through my whole plan helps me keep me safe. I've also shared my safety plan with close friends and family. For example: if they get an overly gushy phone call or text from me they usually question if I'm safe.

For me, a gun doesn't appeal but my mom insists that if I get a gun if my mood takes a dive I'm to take the gun to her house or call her to come get it immediately. For me, allowing myself to think everything through means I can throw up checkpoints and roadblocks to help me help myself. I know for some people those same thoughts indicate they're in trouble and should be hospitalized. I feel safer knowing what I would do and how to prevent my own death (even if it's what I think I want). There are layers upon layers of safety. My T still thinks it's a terrible idea because it's "suicidal ideation."

Regardless - any time you find that your thoughts are hijacked towards suicide or you find you can't let the idea go, or your obsessed with planning every detail of your suicide, or you begin to act on those ideas, STOP, DO NOT PASS GO - go straight for the ER, call 911, commit yourself, whatever you have to do to make yourself safe again.