Thanks Rapunzel,

i guess these would be the discounting the positive and fortune telling distortions. i just found that list of distortions posted under this topic. its great. i think i have a lot of work to do on this stuff and it might really help.

with the discounting the positive distortion i should probably be focusing on the fact i actually did it regardless of what advantages i had or that i screwed up parts of it. at least i got here. maybe i have enough luck left to fluke my way through a job too! lol. sorry. its just really hard to be positive right now.

ok starting now im going to try pulling my self confidence up by its boot straps whether it likes it or not. even if i have to stamp hard enough on that voice in my head that i can ignore it long enough to try out some of these negative distortions and see if i cant disprove them. pretending im not a total failure for one afternoon wont kill me, right?

ok. here i go... aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.