I have four dogs one three year old chihuahua Lola, two 11year old doxies sadie Lou and daisy dukes and a 6 month old doxie Linus. Sadie my 11 year old doxie is my heart dog. I have gotten through so much because of her by my side. I love this dog so much I had might as well have given birth to her. Well one of my obsessive thoughts is having to put her down. The pain I feel when I have these thoughts is unbearable. I literally cannot stop crying and I am not one to allow myself to cry. I get so scared what will happen if something happens to her. Well every winter she gets very stiff and has trouble climbing stairs or getting on the couch this year is the worst. I got her a pair of stairs and every time she goes up them and looks at me with that white face my heart breaks it literally hurts . My puppy is the same color she was as a puppy so that makes her look even older to me p,us her 11 year old sister is dapple and has always had shades of grey so she still looks like a puppy. I don't know I just needed to share my sadness and my fears.