I totally understand how you feel. We almost had to have our 14 year old cat put down. Our prayers were answered however and she got better literally at the last minute. I was heartsick the whole time she was sick and could not stop crying. Everyone at work knew something was wrong because I looked so sad. All I can say it that you know your baby is going to go someday. You can either spend the remaining time fixating on how horrible it will be when she goes and be miserable or concentrate on how much you love her and how much enjoyment you get from her and be happy. It is not easy but it works.

Love you doggies while you can.