I think my issues root from when I was a child.
God I felt so repulsive to the world.
I knew in my heart that I was a waste to all others,
and that it didn't matter what I did because I was me,
and all that I could ever do was dispicable.

I never got over that.
I prove to myself time and time again that I can do anything.
this is like my drive to do the impossible.

but no matter how much I achieve..... this is what's inside.

I think it's at the core of my emotional instability.