Hello and Welcome!!!

I can understand your dilemma here. I haven't ever had someone try to tell me that I am their only hope for dealing with s.i., but I have been the self-injurer who felt like some person was her only hope (!), so does that help? First, please remember that YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for anyone else's behavior- and if she does s.i., it's ultimately on her and not you. Having been there yourself, you know that you were the only person who could really stop you in the end, right? Still, there are things you can do to help. Already just being there for her is helping her a lot, I'm sure. The following are some suggestions [paraphrased in my own words] from the book "Bodily Harm" by Karen Contrerio & Wendy Lader:

-Express concern & offer to talk
-Accept that it may be hard for her to talk about it
-Avoid abrupt questions that may lead to defensiveness (ae: "Why are you doing this?")
-Focus on getting them to acknowledge their problem & need for support/help (of course, you have to consider your friend's assertion that she doesn't want to see a pdoc)
-Remember it takes time and usually therapy to be able to put those feelings into words (I say that a friend can also be great in helping you find expression for your feelings)
-Don't expect to be able to fix it; and it's okay to acknowledge that you don't have all the answers, or the ability to make it all better
-Just LISTEN: you don't have to do anything "special"
-Validate their feelings
-Let them direct the conversation
-Offer your help & support
-Try to convince them to CHOOSE to stop, but do not try to exert power/control because power struggles will backfire
-Make them aware of the possible consequences of their behavior, and then give them time to consider that and find alternatives
-Make them aware that you are affected by their behavior as well (but DO NOT do so in a way that would feel like a guilt trip!!!)
-Respect privacy
-TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!! Stay healthy, set limits, allow yourself to be human, make sure you take care of your own needs, rely on the help of others. Get your own counseling if you need some support in dealing with this
-Encourage the use of language instead of actions
-Don't be guilted or feel overly-obligated
-Do not do 24-hour watches. Emphasize that, while you care, it is ultimately your loved one's responsibility and you view them as capable of making a healthy decision for themself
-Help them develop a crisis plan/list of alternatives, be familiar with it, and know your role (help determine your role, I'd say)
-Accept your own reactions to the s.i. as normal. Think them through, express them nonjudgmentally, adjust your expectations and understanding, use concern constructively.
-Make sure you express your own emotions, and in a healthy way. You are encouraging your friend to express and not stifle/deny/s.i. to escape, and you need to hold yourself to the same standard and be emotionally honest

That is the bulk of the advice from this particular book. These people have been working with s.i. since the 80's and established the first s.i.-only treatment center, so I figure they can be considered a good source. I also like a lot of what they say. Of course, you have to be your real self, responding to your friend in a personalized way. That may be the most important of all. I hope this helps!!!! Good luck!!!!
((((((((((((((((((((((hugs for you and your friend))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

SweetCrusader

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown