come to think of it, I did stop trying in middle school. I acted out in the ways that I had believed that I was. Problem is, underlying everything today I still carry those same beliefs around with me.

thing is too.... that it's really not me believing these things. it's like a part of me, with no seperation at all. it's who I am and I can mask it and cover it up but it's always there no matter what. It's who I am and that just sucks lol.