I think surviving also implies learning from whatever we survived. Problem is, no one else can decide what one is going to learn. Some people learn negative things and others get some positive things about themselves and others who helped them survive. Because no one can do it alone, survive. We get rescuers/helpers but how we perceive them (you know how people can wake up fighting from anesthesia? My girlfriend knocked out a nurse, cold) is a personal quirk. But keep on helping your daughter, it's part of who you are and how you are surviving so well yourself. It's a good thing, helping others even though it might cost us pain.