Kristara, you said:

"I've actually been told by a doc "YOU DONT LOOK SICK" wtf is that???? because i know how to dress decently and apply makeup that means I'm not sick??? who the hell thinks like that???"

Holy crap how did this person pass med school?! I can't believe you had to deal with that and in so much pain for so long. I have thought to myself before
"is there anyone out there who knows exactly what's going on, who has been there, been through it already, who can relate, and can just FN fix this?" The incompetence of some of these doctors can make things feel so freakin hopeless; I'm so sorry your going through all of this.

Jeez and you're holding on to the legal way too, trying to do things the right way-I can see your frustration with these people who can get this forbidden cure so easily. I hope that you will keep hanging on...you'd wonder if the one time you're just tryin to get some relief you end up going to jail, after all this time the junkies never got caught...that would be a hard one to recover from, I think the feelings of injustice would be speechlessly overwhelming.

Man I hate saying "hang in there" when that's all you've been doing this whole damn time!