Loss is loss, you can mourn for losing a favorite item! I'm still angry at my stepmother because she tried to spraypaint my fingernails black 43 years ago because I bit them and in the struggle, she got my favorite blouse covered in black paint speckles. I've had dresses I've "named" and felt like a wonderful character in. Losing something is painful! Losing a love and a chance for happiness and being afraid you've lost even more than that is very hard to recover from!

But, you can't know what is going to happen tomorrow. You might meet a wonderful guy in the assisted living center when you're 85 and he's 89! You can't know when and where happiness might find you (and even how). I would work on getting unreclused, despite how you feel (feeling and actions don't have to match anymore than thoughts and actions do, the actions can actually change the feelings so you have to be careful how you act). I would think of some creative, "fun" way to memorialize your love/this guy; something symbolic and then figure out a way to get out each day and try some new things. Since you were hurt and humiliated, you might want to find your anger at that and symbolize that in some way, help others (like you have here by posting) in hurtful/humiliating situations; do volunteer work in a women's shelter or something? I am your age. Looking back there are several times I thought things were over but they turned out not to be. Use your memories to remember how things have and do change and how you've moved along in other areas of your life and can do so now in this one.