I agree, thank you S4ndm4n. I have zero intention of holding this over her in the future if she is truly sorry about it. If she wants to reconcile and apologize I am ready, willing and able to forgive this. I don't want the tit-for-tat anymore. We've been there, done that and now bear the scars.

What I am saying is that all of this has, truly, caused me to do some self assessment and reflection. I don't believe any of this occured in a vacuum. She and I were both responsible for the collapse of communication in our marriage. I have taken stock of myself and realized what things I need to change if she wants to restore this marriage. My main point was that I hope she does the same... I cannot shoulder 100% of the blame for this and, as my therapist said Monday, my infractions cannot justify or excuse her breaking the vows of our marriage. You are probably right... while not in denial I am allowing myself to be a doormat right now. Hopefully the therapist can help me explain this to her as well.

I am not looking to assign blame (heaven knows there is more than enough for both of us to shoulder for the state of our marriage)... I just want her to understand she is not without her own faults in what occured. Maybe I do need to back off a bit... perhaps I should just go to bed and let her think instead of trying to act like nothing happened. When she wants to talk... I will be there ready and willing.

I really appreciate your insight and perspective. Thank you!