Ambers,

I see so much of myself in what you wrote..I, too, had my self confidence stolen from me at one time..I became dependent on others to take care of me..so much that I forgot how to take care of myself..became scared that I would never be able to take care of myself if I did not have someone around me to do it for me. I made sure that someone was around..even if it meant sabotaging myself in the mean time..degrading myself so that I did not have to face my fears. I had no sense in who I really was as a person..because for so long others had told me WHO I was..despite if it was true or not..and I had believed them..and every bit of that led to my self destructive behavoir until I decided NO MORE and walked away from it all! I turned my life around and made a life for myself without all those lies inside of my head..just as you can. The first thing I had to do though was seperate myelf from the person or persons that were feeling my head with the lies..the person or persons that were making me feel like a nobody..making me feel like I couldn't do anything..and as hard as it was..I had to seperate myself from my family for awhile..as well as others..as soon as I was strong enough..I went back to my family..but with bounderies set..
In the mean time..you need to focus on yourself..to re-establish a new foundation..You need to realize that for the first half of your life that you have been told lies about your self worth and you need to figure out who you REALLY are now..and you need to do this on your own!! without the help of anyone else except yourself and perhaps your T. And once you figure out who you are..and your eyes are opened to what a beautiful person you are and can be..Then go get em..Follow those dreams..don't let anyone tell you that you can't..because you will know that you CAN! Because you will have already proved that have!

Good luck and Pm me anytime should you ever need to talk!