Life to me brings to mind "defeat". I have always picked myself up, brushed myself off, and moved forward. When I crashed (even to this day I am not sure what happened to me) I just know life has never been the same. Maybe since the T didn't know how I was before I crashed he didn't really understand me and where I was coming from. All I can say is all his digging up of all the God awful stuff that happened to me as a result of "MY" choices only left me defeated and filled with shame. If I fall under any more "statistics" of failure, abuse or whatever I will surely scream. I have never abused anyone in my life, yet I feel ashamed for being a victim of abuse and therapy left me with feeling I deserved nothing better. I have always been a "doer" and a "giver" yet I have nothing left to offer or give. Life consumed me. So real life to me means shame and defeat. A victim..