He is taking a risk working with someone who si's, but anybody who works with si is taking that risk. They can face some problems if their client hurts themself. I don't think he was trying to encourage you to continue using si as your coping method or anything. T

ypically when a person enters therapy and says that they si, an experienced therapist will not attempt to immediately put a stop to the behavior. This is because s/he recognizes that to do so could risk alienating you- making you feel judged, misunderstood, or accused. Also, a person who understands si recognizes that it is a sign that the client wants to heal in some way. Maybe most of us feel ambivalent about giving up the behavior, but I'm pretty sure a large majority of us would agree that we do it usually in a way to feel better, to cope- not just to cause more hurting. (Although feeling better is, of course, not the only reason for si).

Your doc may be taking that into consideration and wanting to establish a healthy relationship with you before asking you to make any changes. He also may consider it important to (1) understand how you currently cope, (2) help you learn new ways of coping and only then (3) suggest that you try new ways. Also, some therapists consider it very important to emphasize to the client that s/he is in control of the behavior and nobody else can change it. It's supposed to help you understand that somewhere inside of you, you have the power to overcome it and that your therapist does not have that power. S/he can provide tools, but ultimately, the client has to use them! The therapist is there to help teach us how to do so.

Maybe you could bring this up with him, and let him know that you just want to understand why he chooses to respond the way he does- and what he meant by what he said.

Take Care!
SweetCrusader (Angela)

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown