Hello, DevilsMatrix. I am sorry you are tired and scared. Yes, life can be harsh. Despite the difficulties, you are not helpless.

What do you mean by "normal"? Your post implies wearing a mask IS normal ... "I was just starting to become normal."

Have you explored what it is about the rawness of your humanity that scares you? How does wearing a mask allow you to diminish the fear of reality?

I hope soon you come to grips with who you are. Good luck.