I have a major depression, and because of that, I doubt about my perceptions of my husband behavior. We are stuck, most of the time, in discussions like this, You told me in a bad tone that I should do this or that, and because I told him to do things in a bad tone, (he always says to me), he answered me back in a harsh tone or else, he doesn´t talk to me anymore, or he acts in a violent way, for example, gathered the dirty cloths or the garbage with a very angry mood.
When I tell him that his behaviour frightened me, he says that it is because I talked to him in an angry way, or I shouted at him, or else... anything. So I always am the one that iniciates the conflict and, who doesn´t see is the one causing the problem or the guilty one. Any advice is deeply apreciatte, I am so tired and confused about this.