Good answers, especially from someone who has raised autistic kids. I am just terrified that the child would not be social. Would not reach socialization milestones. I think I can handle shyness to some extent but only to some extent, because I am not shy at all. It is just hard for me to picture handling someone that different. Adoption actually exacerbates the risks because my biological child would at least have 50% of his/her genes from me, while an adopted child would have 0. And Down syndrome can be screened for prenatally but autism cannot.

Again much appreciate answers from those in the trenches.

Yes, his brother has not been formally dx'd. It is just a hypothesis that he has Asperger's.

Regarding the wheelchair - I could eat megadoses of folic acid-containing foods to reduce the likelihood of that. Would not rule out the possibility but at least would greatly reduce the risk.