Speed, take a deep breath, a warm bath and call the hospital.
I dont think your husband is in any position to emotionally support you right now, he's is going through his own grief process. Please call your pdoc to and alert them of your suicidality and go inpatient as soon as your are able.

I can only imagine your pain, but I'm here to listen whenever your fingers find their way to the keyboard...

Please Speed, look after yourself, you are worthy, you are valuable, you deserve it