"I doubt DocJohn had assisted suicide in mind as form of support when he started this site..."

I told her to wait until life was going better for her, before making the decision. At that, point her feelings about living will likely change too.

Speed3, give yourself the support of professionals, if it can't come from family. You were strong enough to raise a fine son, you can be strong enough to put in at least a few more months to see if you might feel differently, can't you?