I'm also here to listen.
I was in hospital recently, and a lady there had just lost her son 2 weeks earlier and was inpatient due to the grief.
She had daily sessions with her T and was closely monitored, and I can truly say she started to feel a lot better and started seeing some light by the time I was discharged.

Your son would have never wanted to see you grieve this much, and definitely not consider suicide. Please look after yourself. We are all here to offer you support.
I'm glad you've phone your pdoc. If he doesn't get back to you quick enough, please go to the ER of a different hospital. You sound like you need to be inpatient (I truly mean that with respect).