i have recently learned i gained ten pounds at the docs office... I feel so fat and ugly and today i was on a bing i ate 12 cookies and a bunch of crap.. i just purged... i feel so rotten.. i broke my 4 month streak....... STUPID ME....... i hate myself for it.. i hate being fat.. i hate it so much i wonder if life is worth being like this.. i dont know i just feel like giving up on everything and going back to purging everyday and cutting and all that jazz.......

ranting again im sorry.