I was in the medical hospital just at the time my mother was dying of cancer after the trauma I went through with her home care person. The stress had caused major loss of weight. My pdoc was going to put me in the psych hospital....but the medical hospital & the freedom to be able to leave & go to her funeral won out with the promise I would be back right after the funeral for the central line IV nutrition.

My MD had a T come in to talk with me every day....the hospital didn't have a psych ward...but they had a staff psychologist & pdoc. It was I got wonderful support by being in the hospital & being taken care of was exactly what I needed....my marriage was horrible & no support from my H who I have since left. I found that it's really important to have the support at times that only the hospital can provide.....even when I wasn't suidical.....just horribly sick from all I had gone through with the trauma & the lack of help I had with the real care of my Mother being her only daughter & family.

I understand how you are feeling & know it's even worse feeling being your son who was your whole life.

Let the hospital take care of you this time......& let them know the grief you are feeling. They can't read our minds even though it seems so obvious to us. I went to the grief counseling through the hospice care they provide....but they had no idea how to deal with the PTSD I was dealing with or the situation I had experienced that was beyond the grief.

Give yourself the freedom to open up in the hospital & get the care you need & deserve.