Dearheart, you pinpointed something -- you mentioned "past memories" and I think that might have a lot to do with your problems.

What was your childhood like? Was there abuse in your home as a child? Was it physical or emotional? Emotional abuse can be even ignoring you. Was there other kinds of abuses in your teen years?

I agree that a good therapist is the key. You really DO need to talk to someone, and it should be a professional who knows how to guide you and treat you. Therapist can be a life saver -- I know, cause I've been thru therapy myself and if I hadn't, I doubt I'd be here right now.

Please have your medical doctor refer you to a good therapist. You won't regret it, my friend. And it does NOT mean you're 'crazy.' In my opinion, every one on earth should see a therapist at one time or another!!! God bless you and please take care. And also let us know how you come out, will you? We DO care about you. Big hugs, Lee