I didn't think a thing was wrong with me. I thought something was wrong with everyone else. I thought the world was messed up, not me. I was diagnosed with BPD and depression while in involuntary hospitalization 10 years ago after my second suicide attempt. At first I had no idea what BPD was. Once I learned about it, I was in denial for at least a year. I refused to believe I had a mental illness. Especially one from Axis II. That's what really made me mad.

Then I started to realize that maybe self-mutilating isn't normal, that constant suicidal thoughts aren't normal, that my paranoia isn't normal, etc, etc. So I began to accept it but didn't really seek help at first. Then more hospital visits and another suicide attempt later, I realized I should seek consistent psychiatric care.