Your husband sure sounds controlling. About #2--what current behavior do you have that is causing problems for your husband and yourself? I do think past trauma can have lifelong influences on behavior and outlook, but they are not always functionally impairing. It sounds like you have done a lot of trauma work, and processed a lot of past events, and don't feel a lot of impairment from them now. I don't agree with #1--that if you can't remember everything then you are not over it. Also, how does your husband even know you can't remember every last thing? That level of detail seems like it would be between you and your therapist? In general, I felt from your post that your husband was overinvolving himself in your mental health and individual therapy.

I think marriage counseling can be super helpful to the couple without delving into each person's past. You can learn communication skills, listening skills, how to treat each other respectfully, etc. The marriage counselor can serve as a coach and "referee" your interactions in real time. For example, when I was in marriage counseling, the therapist helped my husband learn to stop interrupting me when I spoke. If I was speaking about something my husband preferred not to hear, he would cut me off and start talking over me. So helpful to have the therapist help him learn not to do this!

To be honest, I found #3 to be really offensive. Like farmergirl, I would label it "BS." Again, your husband doesn't really know what went on in your individual therapy so how does he know it wasn't blessed by God? Isn't that between you and God? Again, your husband seems to be nosing into something private. Or how does he know if that even matters to you? If he wants his therapy blessed by God, then he can seek that out, ask for God's blessing, etc. If you feel your past therapy has not been blessed and want that, could you pray and ask God for the blessing, then tell your husband that the blessing has been received? Honestly, I think a problem in your marriage is that your husband is very controlling and nosey.

I would be wary of going to see the same EMDR counselor and Christian counselor that your husband is seeing for his individual work. They sound somehow allied against you so if you do want to repeat work with a Christian practitioner, could you choose another one? This would avoid any potential conflicts of interest and also, you might not feel safe with this counselor if you feel your H and the counselor have been discussing you and ganging up on you. I know some people do have the same counselor and this works for them, and I have been one of those people, but from what you've written, I think you should not share an individual counselor with your husband. I also feel if a counselor is saying a previous therapist's work is unsatisfactory and he wants to repeat it all, then there is always the question of conflict of interest, i.e. the therapist who wants you to repeat the work will benefit from this extra and perhaps unnecessary work by pocketing a good deal of therapy money.

Good luck to you, bubsmiley. It sounds like your individual therapy has been helpful so far, and that there have been positive gains so far from the marriage counseling.