MESSAGE FROM SWEETCRUSADER

Hey Everybody! Thanks for your replies! I'm having Wendy post this for me because I'm having trouble getting psychcentral to let me post today for some reason, and I wanted to acknowledge your replies! ~SweetCrusader~

To MARY ALICE: I know what you mean! I am always wondering what I have to complain about. I'm studying psych, so I end up reading about a lot of abuse that is so much worse than anything I have ever experienced. Even when my T tells me that I do have an abuse history and my feelings are valid, I have a hard time believing it- even though I trust her opinion. I start thinking, oh no I must have manipulated her into thinking things were worse than they really were. And then I go back to thinking I'm just bad. It's really hard! I also imagine my parents minimizing things as they have and think, well maybe they're right. Or maybe what they did was unintentional, regardless of the effect it had, and therefore cannot be considered abuse per se. Thanx for your input. It helps me, actually, to know this is a common response- as it appears to be, judging by the number of replies!

To ALM15: Thank you! I like that phrase "honor your experiences and path." I think I'll write it in my journal, if that's okay with you. I haven't had the same experience of thinking my history is the worst. I always think I'm just being a melodramatic, weak, childish person. Still, I accept your input and think it's probably true for a lot of people. So thank you for sharing, for your good advice, and for your support!

To SUNDANCE: I appreciate you letting me know that you relate. It helps me deal with the feeling when I understand that I'm not the only one who's responded this way to my own suffering. I'm sorry about what happened to you! If hugs are ok with you, (((((((((((((((sundance)))))))))))))))). Here's to hoping we can both accept and overcome the pain that we've had!!!!

To TROUBLED1: Yeah, I know what you mean! Just when I think I've resolved that question, it seems to pop up again. I always wonder if I'm just crazy or something. Thanks for relating. If hugs are ok with you, (((((((((((((((troubled1)))))))))))))))).

To GREG: Well thank you, Greg. I hope I can find the courage to tell my story to you guys eventually. I am still filled with a lot of shame and fear, so I don't know if that will happen soon. But I do greatly appreciate the invitation to do so, and the support you offered me in your reply.

To LOOKINGFORME: You know, you're really on to something there, pointing out that the reason why you worry others will question you is because you question yourself! I do that, too! That is very insightful...something I'm going to give more thought to. Please don't beat yourself up for not realizing what was happening to your son. It is really sad what happened, but you did NOT do it. You can accept responsibility for what you did, but only that. Now that you know, it's time to accept responsibility for the future. I suggest you talk to your son and tell him you are sorry for not protecting him. If he is still young enough to be in your care, promise to protect him as best you can in the future and do your best to make good on that promise. Be willing to support him and help him heal, and he will love you for that. He needs your love and support, regardless of what age he is, and what he past has been. Your own pain related to this is also real. Those feelings are valid, please allow them! This is a difficult situation for you as well, not just your son! Also, you DID help me feel better- and I am one who I guess you could say my parents "failed me" although it hurts and makes me feel guilty to say that. So never underestimate your ability to help another person. I so deeply appreciate your support and honesty! Thanks so much for posting!!!! (((((((((((((((((((((LookingForMe)))))))))))))))), if it's ok.


<font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>