You know, practicing a new skill takes time. I know you want to be better right now, but it's going to take time. I know you don't like hearing that.

I think you don't cry ever maybe because of your upbringing. Were you raised in a house where "real men don't cry?" That can have a huge effect on you as a kid. Hold it all in, don't let it out. That's not healthy. You don't have to cry necessarily, but you obviously are learning to let it out with all your poems and such. Maybe that will lead to tears eventually.