Mindfulness Therapy is different than plain mindfulness. I'll tell you what I did in the therapy. It was guided and controlled so that just bits came out to be processed at a time. That's what a good therapist does, it's medicine, a bit at a time. You can also learn to do these things on your own, there are a lot of self help tools out there, and some experts like Anika in here.

Anyway, I did that type therapy for a year. It was great and profound, but I also came to know that for at least a day after every session I must not commit to any big responsibilities because I was processing a lot. I have crying spells normally, but being mindful will bring so much to the surface.

So the first session, she always started with let's tune in to my body. Just take some breaths and notice parts of your body. Is there somewhere with pain? Ok, just notice it for now. Where else is there pain? Ok, just noticing for now. We did some talk therapy to get to know me. She ended the first session saying, Ok, for the next week until our next session, just try to notice the thoughts you have. Don't try to change them, just notice them, and try to remember what you notice, like what things you say to yourself so you can tell me about it next week. That was the first session, and that little bit was intense to process.

Take it slow Dan. You're taking on a big deal, and it's awesome and you're brave. And if you like that idea from my therapist... maybe just try for some time right now to just notice, observe your thoughts without judgment, and then tell us about it. You don't need to change and fix it all right now. Does that even make sense that something as huge as changing your life and your thinking could happen quickly or easily? I don't think so, especially with bp and gad and stuff. This stuff is huge.

It's ok to take it slow, bits at a time. And you're already making progress even though it doesn't feel good. You've taken steps. You sound in outright pain, actually and I would love to fix you, and me, and everyone in some easier fashion. But it's deep work you're going to be doing. But you can do it and you will be glad you did in the long run.