Did you just quit your job?

I know it's hard but, I agree that maybe it is someone else's turn now. You have done everything, given him everything, and he is refusing to turn it around and then attacks you for it.... Maybe making him a ward of the state is not so bad. He will be 18 soon, won't he?

Taking your 11 year old to a safe place might be the best thing for both of you.

I don't know, maybe your older son just needs to see if he sinks or swims without mom there to hold him up by the belt loops. I think he takes you for granted, personally. He knows you'll be there to catch him. But what if you're not? If he kills you, then you'll never be there. Maybe if he falls on his face and you don't catch him, and make him responsible for himself, he'll surprise you.... and maybe someday you'll have your son????

I don't know, it's all so hard. I just want you to be safe, and your little one.