Tanya, dreams and memories can be so far off from reality but what I have learned is that there is a truth in each. If I remember so and so, the neighbor and..... Doesn't mean it's true, I don't think it is, I think it was my brain's way of opening the channels to remember and deal with crap. I never forgot and then remembered either. Oh, I know too well the pain. Write and talk as much as you can. Keep pulling alone.