Hey, I care. Sorry that I missed your post about getting there late, then having to reschedule. Grrr!!

You sound very discouraged. It's hard to when there is so much going on and you want so badly for things to be calm and okay again. Very frustrating!

I think it's also not uncommon to feel in a hurry for help, once we have taken the initiative to go for it. Please hang in there! You are doing all that you can right now.

I wonder if you would like posting in the psychotherapy forum? Maybe you could read some there and think about it? It is very active and supportive!