." I cried because I knew my mom and dad did the best they could and provided a coat and now they would have to provide another coat or I'd have to wear the same one. I was gonna get beat for it. I cried because I got bad grades and I knew I was gonna get beat for that to. I cried from fear. Not from emotions like sadness, hurt, & displeasure." quote Big Mama

You need to tell this to your Therapist too Big Mama. Part of your crying could be that you are afraid you are going to be "punished" somehow?

I posted what "I" have been learning myself BM, I understand the suggestions that are discussed in the literature provided. However, because I have PTSD, I can have these strong "pop up" emotions that are very different than experiencing emotions in an interaction with someone who is effecting me emotionally.

What I have found is for some reason, I sometimes have things come out of me that just "come" out. And the only way I am able to "address it" is to think about it "after" I surge like that. And I have shared that with you before.

With the "crying" you are discribing, it could be from "fear" and it could be from "mourning" what you are finally "learning" or "realizing about yourself and your past".

The "observing" that I noticed is discussed in the literature is important, it is important also when you have these responses that you don't quiet understand too.
When I have a emotional flood of somekind, I "recognize it" and then I try to see what my thoughts were at the time, and even what I had been working on in therapy, or recent interactions that may be stirring up "old memories or challenges".

So the fact that you just remembered "when you "did" cry" is important, because that was based on "fear". So then you need to ask yourself "what am I afraid of" ? And then make sure that whatever you "think it is" is something you really need to be "afraid" of. And if you don't have an answer, then talk to your therapist about it.

Open Eyes