I know I have it pretty good. I'm in a first world country. In a good city. Have a roof over my head now. Going to school. Everyone thinks I'm doing well... but I don't feel like I'm doing well...

My family life is kinda in a mess slowly getting cleaned up. We're kind of divided. One of them tries to reach out to me for help. I try to help. I want to help. They want me to be there for them more. In person.

But I feel like I just cant. Emotionally, I mean. I feel so stretched. With one hand grappling 2 jobs, 1 volunteer edit, school full time with loads of homework, trying to make sure I have enough for rent and other living costs - I feel so overwhelmed.

Normally, I talk to my boyfriend. He's the closest person I know and trust and I've been with him for a long time. But now I've noticed he's been getting depressed too with his own stuff. I try to help him but he doesn't want help.

I don't want to talk to him anymore because I'm depressed. I'm worried I'm rubbing off on him, you know? I don't want that. I feel like I can't emotionally reach out to him or reach out for him. You know?

Since getting any help like counseling or psychiatry or a psychologist cost money that I don't have, where do I go?

Do I just try to help myself? Do i just rot? and leave other people with bigger wallets and troubles the option to get help? i don't know...