That' the "sorta" part... she will do those things... and then suddenly whammo... nothing. At the therapist she said I am her best friend but she feels like she hasn't been in love with me for awhile. The therapist asked if she was acting this way because she didn't think I was going to change and she said yes... but if she won't even let me in...

I get weird statements like that she's hopeful we can save this and that she knows it'll take time... but I really feel hopeless.

I mean, I want to change those negative aspects of our relationship, but if she can't even respond a little bit... ugh I am so dang confused right now. She was sick yesterday so we said about 5 words to eachother. I took the kids so she could sleep, got her crackers and ginger ale and left them on a tray next to her... gave her some space and didn't needle or try to talk to her so she could rest... I am trying to show her how much I care in little ways... but I don't know if they are even appreciated.

I don't just want to be best friends... I was to be a happily married couple. I really wish I could crawl inside her head and figure out what she is thinking. I just need to know there is hope ahead. If I had some glimmer of hope then I would be capable of handling this much better.