...takes so much energy to ignore the most natural of all human behaviours!

and this is the most diabolical thing of borderline personality and I spell it right out!

somethin' just aint right inside ...like it's trust and I shake my head and I cry I don't trust anybody and I cry even more I am so damaged ..!

something aint right and I am so freaking lonely and even this immediately screws up my face I am angry!

what the f--ck is wrong with me ...?

..and everyone else appears to make it look so damn easy ...and this just makes me worse..

I'm trapped in a moody loop of self hatred...thinking I'm terrible...

thats the worst thing amongst all the rest that I aint stupid I freaking wish I was stupid then it wouldn't hurt so bad but cos I am intelligent I get to experience all the TERRIBLE feelings....exactly as they were meant to be felt..

and none of this was ever my damn fault!

I can't put up with me..

and nobody else will ever...

(sorry this was so crap)