I think the fact that you are both in counseling means there is hope. If all she wanted was out, she wouldn't bother with it.

Also, I like to think the marriage counselor doesn't really take sides... Having never been to one, that might just be wishful thinking. But for all you know, your wife could be having the same thoughts that the therapist sided with you. It's all about perspective.

I do agree with who ever said it first, you should probably look into therapy for yourself to work on your depression. That's your own issue that can't be solved in marriage counseling. I also agree that you shouldn't be quite so submissive to her since she is the one that strayed. Don't get me wrong, she's not completely to blame, I understand that. But at the same time, like sandman said, don't let yourself be a doormat.

And honestly? Even if your marriage doesn't work out (here's hoping it will, though!) you will come through this stronger and healthier simply by focusing on yourself and getting yourself better. I think that's all your wife really wanted... was for you to take care of yourself. Because if you don't take care of yourself, you really can't take care of anyone else either.

Good luck. We're all rooting for you!