It must be hard for her to be sick and yet deal with your silent, unspoken expectation of appreciation. A sick person probably needs just crackers and ginger ale, without strings attached. A moment of unconditional love. I imagine... being sick she sort of becomes your child for a moment and you, the parent. What do the best parents do, in the ideal world? Give unconditional love.

I think you also have unreasonably high expectations of the rate or speed of change in general. Do you expect a new antidepressant to immediately restore you? Probably not. Likewise here... change accrues over time. You just need to see that the direction of the change is right. She is attending T rather than filing for separation and she has not stopped being your best friend. So the direction is right.

And did I miss your telling us where you guys will go for your vacation?

Another thing... besides depression, there seems to be anxiety present. Do you feel it?