I'm sorry your feeling this way. And that you failed.

You have a lot going on with your health right now. And a lot of other issues to deal with. By what I've read in here.

I know it's hard when you feel like you have failed. But it's not the end. Maybe you could reset them?

Maybe trying to focus on your getting help for your emotions, would be something that would help.
Rather then putting yourself under more pressure?

Your mental health and happiness is more important then any paper.

I just want to say I'm sorry if I'm talking about stuff I don't know nothing about. I clearly going on what you have just written.

Just remember trying is never a fail. Not doing anything is the fail.
((Hugs))