Hi Bee & Myself

My mother and brother (severely depressed and post traumatic stress disorder for a LONG time) are not able to give my neice proper parenting. This is a very complicated situation - she is screaming out for stability and she is not getting it one bit. My brother keeps saying to me "I don't know what to do". I am so ANGRY at him. He KNOWS my mother is at the root of all this abuse but he will not face up to it. He tried counselling for himself but pulled out, he couldnt cope. He is in my neice's face 24/7 he just does not have a clue how to cope with her. She talks extremely fast, his hyperactive, self injures in front of my mother.

My neice told me that my mother has been taking things out of her bedroom that her own mother gave to her and hiding them. My neice cuts her fringe really short and my mother says "you look like something out of the dark ages" - its all verbal abuse all over again - she got enough of this from her own mother. These things are just a few examples, there are many more - my mother is DRESSING her for christsake and letting her sleep in bed with her when she has nightmares!

Listen, my mother was horrifically sexually abused from the age of 8 to a late teen by her own father - now this speaks volumes in this situation. My mother only has a two bedroom bungalow, neice has own room and brother has a put you up bed in the lounge each night, living accommodation is not good.

I see clearly what is happening in this situation. My mother HATES my neice's mother for abuse to her daughter, my mother is infuriated with my brother for being so weak and depressed so she is constantly on his back and she is taking all this hatred out on my neice - neice is the victim. My mother is 61 and a widow and is hating this intrusion on her life and I think but am not sure that my mother has totally heightened the abuse situation between neice and her mother. Neice confessed all to my mother initially 4 months ago - can you imagine how my mother would react to that!

Sorry this is long but had to explain the situation in a little more detail here. I am going to my therapist today and put this all to him see what he thinks I should do, if anything. My husband is putting his foot down and saying we are not getting involved but I havent said that I feel I should ring childrens services and I am not sure myself yet.