I have thought more about it and I recommend two therapies for you: CBT and mindfulness. I do not have enough patience for those myself, but I have heard good things about them from others.

Why?

CBT to reframe your thoughts and stay away in particular from catastrophizing. I reread your post in response to mine and you did not answer my question about the vacation plans. But you talked about all sorts of negative stuff, your frustrations and disappointments and what not. So you selectively talk about negative stuff and disregard the positive. If you can change that, that would be great for everyone involved. You would be much more fun to be with and you would be a happier person yourself. Right?

Mindfulness to stay in the moment and enjoy that you freaking have someone to give crackers and ginger ale to!

And for chris sake stop demanding that she be in love with you 24/7. During more than 99% of the history of monogamous marriage partners were not required to be in love with one another 24/7. Work towards common goals, yes, but not in love with each other. It is a modern expectation. And even the modern marriage vows do not require that. I do not remember them verbatim because when I last said yes to them in a rather casual manner in Las Vegas in 1997, I was not paying much attention, but I am absolutely positive that they did not contain anything about being in love 24/7, and I have a good memory. Maybe something about sticking around in sickness and death or something like that. Are you sick? yes, you have depression and that is a sickness. Is she sticking around? She is - she is even planning a vacation together. So no problems on her end of the bargain. Leave her alone. Don't be annoying. I would think that if you do not say out loud that you want her to say "I love you" but silently expect it, it is still annoying. And needy.

You prognosis in terms of the relationship is very good. If she still your friend and even your best friend and the only thing that is not exactly up to specs as they are in your mind is lack of expressions of love, then, in the worst case scenario, you would separate without animosity on amicable terms and would partner together as co-parents for the rest of your lives. I really envy your situation. My ex husband turned my daughters against me and I need to pay a lawyer to communicate to my ex husband as follows:

"She also wants to be able to clean the refrigerator which contains food that you have left. You are welcome to come pick up your food next week on any weekday between noon and the time you pick up the kids.

Also, please inform my client of your tax filing status for the 2012 tax year so that my client may make proper arrangements.

Thank you."

You certainly would never face my challenges if your wife is being so very nice with you now. My ex husband, from time to time, threatens a restraining order (without cause). Someone on this board suggested to ME that I file a restraining order against him. Fun, no? Has your wife ever threatened a restraining order against you? I bet she does not even know what a restraining order is! So nothing catastrophic would happen even in the case of divorce AND she is not even talking about divorce! I was just showing to you that even the worst case scenario is pretty decent for you. But I believe that you need therapy to see and appreciate it.