Quote:
Originally Posted by unhappyguy
It sounds like you are lonely. Has your husband passed or are you divorced? Do you have friends? You sound happier when you are in the company of others but deep down you know it's only temporary and you will be going home again where you'll be alone.
My suggestion is to get out of the house as much as possible in order to build a life and to meet others at your own pace. Are you a member of any senior centers or a church? How are your time management skills with house chores? (I know mine are pretty bad and I am a few years younger than you!)
I am finding out that getting older means a decrease in energy. I can't do all of the things that I used to or want to. If I pay the bills and do the laundry then there will be no energy for house cleaning. If I do the ironing and grocery shopping and make dinner then I will have to settle for that because there is nothing left! Socializing and taking walks for health tire me out too. Your dreams seem to be to get out of your house and instead you seem trapped in it. You want to live your dreams. A helper or friend may be needed to help you achieve them, especially when it comes to the house work. Think about it. I wish you all the best.
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I know what you mean about choosing to pay bills or do laundry etc.---as if the energy is limited------------but, in reality, when I get out of my everyday, I find (with joy and some sadness) the energy is still there---very much so, that is frustrating---but, due to depression/anxiety, that I had always had (till recently) been able to cut off from work time, I have always had to parse life tasks (& let some things go, lose some money or whatever) in order to get the basics done. (laundry piling up right now---and the laundry mat within sight of my upstairs window) ---that always was an emotional/mental energy thing---cutting things down to size. I do better when someone else is living in the house (usually), as I seem to "catch" energy from the presence of others; but do not want a "relationship" except of (maybe) friendship and shared tasks---a combining of resources that would result in gain for each. Yet, it is still all stuff that I am capable of doing.... I think this America is a hard place to be "marginalized" these days---I hate to admit it, even to myself, but I do better when something is solidly going wrong or clearly is tragic (forgive me, but when my brother killed himself, when my father died, my mother became demented and I cared for her, and worked, for 6+yrs, when someone just needed me to be stronger....I knew what I had to do, and I look back and wonder how I did it-----some of the tasks (buying a house with the money my mother had left when she was ripped off in selling...helping the kids with getting cars, education, travel expenses, ---are all things that usually seem beyond me. Right now, my son's car (he loaned it to my after getting another) is downtown with the keys locked inside-----------two days, I finally called him because I just don't feel up to dealing with it-----------oddly, this is usually the kind of problem I can relish---a do-it-myself challenge---I was going to the ATM, answering calls from work (I was/am on call) and not hearing the ding dinging telling me not to let the door shut---and it was late...after a nice dinner out with a friend even--------so it goes. Good day for photos, the cold light, and the camera is locked in the car too. Yikes. And, I realize I do better in jobs that are a bit overwhelming workload-wise; I become more organized, more focused----but these kinds of places have become much uglier to work in over the past decade or so, with our system of care coming undone and stressed out management (of which I have at times been part of) flailing about for individuals to blame instead of working off a problem-solving approach...sorry, i ramble, will post tho i feel i should delete