I am going to join an alano club (club for people in addiction/alcholism recovery) Because I need a place to hang out where I am not going to be tempted to act out my old behaviors. They are addictive; bpd is like dealing with an addiction, to me, also my love and s*x addiction which is another symptom or conjunction to my bpd.

Also, I have gotten close to a friend that I have not associated with since about 20 years ago, and suddenly we are seeing each other every day. He pretty much shares my spiritual philosophies; we've been getting DEEP with some stuff and a lot of sharing. It's also been having a romantic flavor.

So, I am walking thru some fears now.

I want to run for my life.

I want to just not go to that club today.

I want to just break it off with Sid.

But the alternative is more anxiety, more isolation, more self-destruction.

More bpd bs.

thanks,

Carol