My dreams are upsetting me more than my reality! I want to write a little about it..so don't read if you think you might be triggered

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I dream I'm in this dark basement room and one of my abusers is also there lying on an old couch. He keeps telling me to do stuf... starting with to take my clothes of and then to pose infront a camera that is in the corner (apparently working itself) And then I have to try on all these stupid outfits wich is really embarrassing. I won't say anything more... I think you got the gist.

When I wake up I can still smale the odour from the basement, aven stronger than when I was dreaming and I have an incredible fear which threatens to send on a panic attack. Everything is so vivid... the textures of the clothes, the feel of the floor under my feet... It's like I'm still there, even when I'm awake. It terrifies me.

I'm like a small girl in the dream... I'm too afraid to protest or to disobey this person. I just do everything.