As I am getting properly medicated I am scared of losing my mania. I want to be better and not taking any dangerous gambles anymore, and I also want to get rid of my mixed episodes. But the truth is, after being unmedicated for years I am scared of being without the hypomania. I have gotten so used to that being my best parts that I dont know who I am without it. I am concerned my charisma will go away and i will be empty. I am worried my talents will deminish and my creativity will die.. I am scared I will lose me.