I could only say about my experience, but I'm repeating something I heard and that made perfect sense at the time. Some things I could accomplish, some backfired, but I feel like it may apply to your case.

Before I begin, know that I'm not a doctor of any sort, and if I wasn't depressed myself I wouldn't be in this forum, so here we go...

There is a point within us of perfect stillness. It's just a state of mind just like any other, like happiness, depression, sadness, and so on. Normally it is confused with repressed feelings when someone is behaving in a non-emotional way, but it is not. If I were to put a name to it, it would be peace.

And why do I bring this up? Because coming from a rather disfunctional family myself, the one thing I could seldom have when amongst them was peace.

Try to find your 5 minute focus to approach them in a pratical manner: "listen, mom, I really want to be there more for you but I'm also having issues of my own to deal with, I'm stressed, I'm tired, I'm working too much and I'm kinda sad. I know you just want the best for me and I'll get better soon, just help me take some load of my mind right now, can we? You'll be first to know when the sky is bright and the birds are singing again. You don't have to worry about me, I'm struggling but I'm standing" ... mom, dad, brother, cousin, etc...

If they don't understand, if they bark or grunt or curse or yell or, let's say, behave as a regular human, it's just they, doing the best they can. Even if that best is a negative reaction, don't take it personal, don't let it put you down. Keep on loving them either way, just as they keep loving you without the ability to understand or show it so. Given time, everyone may learn how to respect each other.

I did this (in my personal case) and eventually my family stopped flying at each others throats for no reason at all. Some realized the futility to scream and demand, and others have learned when just give space to others. No one will disappear nor run away. It CAN be that simple. The first step just need to be calm, firm, and **cordial**

It's all in the *way* it's said

We still have our fights but at least now when they happen is for a real reason...

As for the boyfriend, take at least one hour a week to forget everything and just enjoy each others company. Don't allow the grey routine to devour all your time. It doesn't have to be an appointment, neither does it always have to be spontaneous. Do something different or just cuddle, remember the good times (and some funny stories you might had lived), and once again, from within a 5 minute peace, talk to him about your feelings and fears. Without pressure. Without demands. You're accomplices after all.

I realized that taking the pressure of depressed people helps everyone. I think I'll open a thread here about this.

Hope you get better

hugs