Heres some background.

My GF and I met at a restaurant we both worked 2 years ago. She was 17 and I was 19. I instantly fell in love with her. We stayed together for nearly a year then she became possesed with some deamons (namely alcohol) which I didn't agree with. We broke up because I could not be with someone who drank as that violates one of my many morals. After 4 monthes we reconciled and she swore against never going back to that citing it as a learning experience and "something she needed to do." We were back together. I went to college for 1 year and took 2 years off to save money. Coincidently we were both going to college at the same time. She is 45 minutes away from me now as opposed to 5 minutes but thats not the problem. Before I address the problem you need some additional information about us.

At least 50 people (some strangers, some friends) have said that we belong together. We both share the same morals, we respect each other and others, and above all else, we are both VERY mature for our ages. We seem to be nearly identical as far as personalities. I am not at all shamed to admit that I am a very romantic person and she will be the first person to tell you that. We have a genuine love for each other and have already made plans to live together after college. Neither of us smoke, drink, or like sex. We both think that sex is something sacred that should be saved for marriage. We have slept together 3 times without sex. I am sure all BFs say this but I would do anything for her. I would give my life in an instant if it benefited her. 2 years doesn't seem like a lot but to me it's like an eternity. I wish I could fast foward 4 years to the time we would live together. My GF is emotionally scared. Several things happened to her in the past that make her a very quiet and introverted person. She only opens up to people she trusts 100%. She also has a VERY hard time showing any emotion. Hugs, kisses, and bodies touching are hard for her to do naturally. Neither of us have a problem being physically together as long as I initiate it. She knows I would never do anything to hurt or or make her feel uncomfortable in any way and thats why she allows it. Together I feel like we could conquer the world. We have both helped each other TREMENDOUSLY in life and have both told each other we are stuck together. IE: nothing can come between us.

The problem lies in me. Within the last month (since both of us have been in seperate colleges), I have become so obsessed with what she is doing. I am -to a point- overreacting to everything she does. I have always been more like a parent to her then a boyfriend in the past but it has always been something we have worked on together because I don't want to seem controlling, just concerned. Now that I am in college ANYTHING she does I get furious at her about. If she does anything outside of classes, that is. If she eats with her roommate, goes to the gym, goes to Sheetz, looks for a job, goes on a trip.....ANYTHING, I will get upset at her. I am not a religious person and she is not either. Her roommate is a hard core Christian and is influencing my GF to join a bunch of religious groups, which she is doing. I HATE that and get so mad at her for this. She made a list of 100 things she wants to do before she graduates and I criticized that idea and said that wasn't good.....got mad again. She wants to read the top 100 novels....got mad yet again. In the past she always found time to spend with me, but being 45 minutes away, that is really not something we can do all the time. We talk everyday on the phone as well. I have always dealt with a slight smount of depression...maybe felt down once or twice a month....thats it. Now I am depressed everyday. We are taking a break from each other now and she insists I talk to someone about this because she does not like being yelled at all the time. I am not at all against talking to a psycotheripst or someone, but I have no medical insurance and am on a VERY limited budget. I enjoy reading books and have been reading self- improvement books to try to better myself. Everyone I've talked to about us said that I need to relax in the relationship and that I need to let her do her own thing. That I know. Its doing that which seems impossible.

Does anyone have a suggestion as to what I can do, anyone I can see, any books I can read. I don't want to lose the one person in the world that I care about the most. Even now that we are apart, I think that we could get back together and I could relax, but even the slightest thought of the trip to NY that she is taking next weekend infuriates me.

Any help is appreciated.

Thanks