
Jan 18, 2013, 08:52 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: Washington State, U.S.A.
Posts: 3,169
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Okay so I ordered a copy of that book. In the meanwhile, there is an article in the nytimes right now, by a dad who said he feels he needs to stop bribing his kids to do stuff. A study said that can become counterproductive. Then it occurred to me, I would get punished, not rewarded, for doing well. As a child, as an adult. My mother would put me down after I cleaned my room, saying I never keep it clean. My good grades always included a lecture to my older brother; that never made me feel good. Or else the mother would just slap me upside the head, telling me not to get a big head about whatever my accomplishment was. So unless somebody is yelling at me now, who has motivation? It's like anything I do will bring more yelling. I guess my T is trying to break that connection. But first you have to see it.
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I'm guessing that there's a part of you feeling like "What's the use?" since you never got positive reinforcement for your good actions
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